When the routine stopped feeling like a choice
I first started smoking heavily in college. At the beginning it was with friends—late nights, laughs, music, the usual. But things changed once I started buying my own supply. That’s when the moderation disappeared.
I’d smoke before class, after class, sometimes instead of class. My grades slipped, my routine fell apart, and I started isolating myself. Weed made things feel easier and more enjoyable in the moment, but I slowly stopped doing the things that actually mattered to me.
When I started working in finance during COVID, it escalated. Remote work meant long hours at home and fewer boundaries in the day. Smoking at night turned into smoking in the afternoon, then sometimes during work. Eventually I dreaded plans or activities where I knew I couldn’t be high.
A familiar habit can become a difficult one
My experience is not everyone’s experience. But difficulty cutting back, using more than intended, and continuing despite problems in daily life are signs worth taking seriously. The CDC describes these among the signs of cannabis use disorder. Its research summary also notes increased risk with more frequent use and starting young.
The point is not to diagnose yourself from a blog post. It is to notice when the way you use something has moved away from the life you want, and to get professional support when you need it.
CDC — Understanding your risk for cannabis use disorder
The signs I kept explaining away
I was smoking earlier than I planned. I was avoiding activities that required me to be sober. I kept saying I would cut back and then not doing it. What worried me most was how much of my day had started to revolve around access.
There wasn’t one dramatic wake-up moment. It was an accumulation: I didn’t like spending more money, throwing out my plans, or feeling as though I was skipping parts of my own life.
What helped me was changing access
I put distance between myself and my weed. I locked it away. I had someone else hold the key. I set specific times when I allowed myself to use it.
That separation gave me room to do something else between the urge and the action. It felt uncomfortable at first, but it also felt like I was making a decision again. I started filling some of that time with other habits and activities.
This is what helped me personally. It isn’t a claim that a lockbox will work for everyone, or that a particular delay will make a craving disappear.
How that experience became Kurb
Not everyone has someone who can hold a key for them. Not everyone wants to involve another person in something so personal. I wanted to explore a practical tool that could put a plan into the physical world.
That became Kurb: an app-connected device with access windows you choose. The device controls when you can access what’s inside. It does not measure how much you consume or decide what amount is medically appropriate.
The part I want to preserve is personal choice. What do you want to change? What do you want more room for? A device can give your plan a physical boundary, but it cannot answer those questions for you.
A place to start
If any part of this sounds familiar, I hope it makes you feel less alone. Kurb grew out of my own experience, and we’re now testing the device and app with pilot participants.
For me, creating some separation was an important step. Your next step may look different. If cannabis use is affecting your health, relationships, or ability to function, a qualified healthcare professional can help you consider the support that fits your situation.